Dad's Eulogy

Presented on May 18th, 2017

For Dad…

Bodacious…most of us have heard the term…it’s a word that means admirable, excellent, impressive, remarkable. My father used this term a lot over the years, even before it became a recognized word in the dictionary. I knew that he truly admired something or someone when he described them as bodacious.

In the last few weeks, as he was getting worse and worse, I began playing back memories of him in my mind, as if they were movie scenes. Recalling many of the moments we were together and understanding the massive impact he made in my life, and the impact he had on other family, friends and acquaintances.

It’s impossible to summarize and truly share the essence of someone’s life in a tribute like this. In all of the 57 years that he has been in my life, and in the lives of our entire family and the countless people that were his friends, no words that I can say could possibly fully honor my father.

I hope you all don’t mind…I have included a few stories here…some you may have heard, others maybe not…

John Malek Yonan II was born on March 11^th, 1938 in Appleton Wisconsin and joined his older sister, Sally Anne, as the only two children in the Yonan household. They initially lived in an upstairs apartment at 1014 N. Appleton Street, but later moved to 4 Winona Ct. Their parents, John & Lucille, my grandfather and grandmother, were very strict and maintained a firm discipline while my father lived in their home. They regularly attended the Presbyterian church where my father enjoyed Sunday School classes.

Growing up, according to my Grandma Yonan, my father was a boisterous child and always curious about everything around him. He loved new gadgets. He always wanted to know how they worked. He would take things apart and put them back together again. He was very mechanically inclined.

Now, If you knew my father, you know he had to complete everything that he started. Today, we all recognize this as Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, but back when dad was a young boy, everyone just knew that everything little Johnny started, little Johnny had to finish…and not later, but NOW! This was quite evident when he followed a young girl home from school one day…teasing her the whole way. Calling her names. Johnny was in 3^rd grade. The girl was only in 1^st. As the girl was running up the stairs to her house, screaming for her mom, Johnny formed a solid icy hard snow ball and took aim at the terrified little girl. Johnny recoiled and launched the snow ball with perfect form…just at that moment, the young girl’s mom opened the front door at the top of the steps to see what the commotion was about and Johnny’s icy snow ball smacked the young girl’s mother in the face. Needless to say, there was a lot of yelling by the girl’s mother, but being a devout Catholic, only PG insults and threats were offered. Little did they know that, many years later, that little girl and little Johnny, would exchange wedding vows…it took a while for my father to complete this task, but on April 4^th, 1959, he married my mom.

As a young boy, dad became very active in scouting and achieved the level of Eagle Scout by age 15. Very few scouts have been able to reach this level and it is nearly impossible to reach it at such an early age. Later in life, he became my Scout Master for Troop 91. We experienced week long camping trips to places like Gardner Dam Boy Scout Camp where my father guided many young men in the ways of Scouting. Not all scout meetings, however, were successful…or safe…the entire Troop gathered one evening at dad’s company warehouse in the Town of Menasha. We were all climbing up and over bales of carpeting and oriental rugs…then dad decided to show us all the Hilti. Now, the Hilte was a device that used 22 caliber shells to punch nails into concrete. You load a shell and a nail with a large washer head into the device and hit the top with a hammer to shoot the nail. It’s not supposed to actually shoot the nail unless the device is pressed onto a hard concrete surface. So, dad decided he would give us a scare…he loaded a shell and a nail and casually pointed the Hilti at his stomach and proceeded to hammer the top of the Hilte device. BANG! This Hilti did the unexpected! It shot him in the stomach! My father stood there for a few seconds and quietly said…”I need to go to the hospital.” Then he slowly collapsed to the floor…Hilti still in hand. There wasn’t much blood…the doctor later said that if there had not been a large washer head on the nail, he would have nailed his belly button to his spine. The washer saved him from severe injury. Another great successful lesson from dad was forever etched into the brains of all scouts that evening…don’t shoot yourself with a Hilti gun…

My father excelled at High School sports and competed in Track, running the quarter mile…and he did it in 51 seconds flat, taking highest honors at the Wisconsin State Track Meet competition.

Dad was a friend to all and treated others with respect. He had a close circle of friends and maintained those friendships throughout his life. Many of those friends are here today. I have very much enjoyed listening to all of the fun stories dad has shared about the crazy shenanigans he did as a kid with his friends.

Family was absolutely the most important aspect of dad’s life. He attended all of Marks and My school functions, he also attended many of Justin’s, Shauna’s and Sharene’s functions and sporting events when we lived in Neenah, and later made trips to California to attend all three of our kids high school and college graduations. He attended Justin’s graduation from law school. He has gone to his Great Grandchildren’s events…during trips to California. No matter what was going on, my dad was there and actively participated in all of our lives.

Over the years, he taught me many things. He taught how to:

Tie a tie
Catch a baseball in a glove.
Throw a spiral football.
Ride a bike.
How to whistle.
How to perform card tricks…and win money.
How to do the Persian Clap…and that’s not a disease.
He taught me how to shave and then loaned me his High Karate aftershave lotion so I would impress the girls.
How to drive…very fast…always!
How to not dilly dally by walking…very fast…always!
How to shake someone’s hand…and show sincerity.

He also had words or phrases he always used…like…

Eat your Broccoli, it puts hair on your chest…my dad and I, clearly, have eaten a LOT of Broccoli!
1. But, you can substitute just about any food and he would tell you by eating it, it puts hair on your chest.
That was usually followed up by “Eat your food, think of the starving children in India.” This has somehow significantly impacted my behavior because I always think of dad saying this and I rarely leave anything on my plate.
Okey dokey…whenever he acknowledged something…he said okey dokey.
Love ya, see ya…a favorite between my mom and dad just before hanging up their phones or saying goodbye…even if they were going to be apart for a few minutes…
Another word my dad used was…NO…this is a word he used with me a lot. I would ask, “can I borrow the car?” No. “May I go out tonight?” No. “Can I borrow $5.00” No. I finally gave up and started asking my mom…at least she would let me down a little easier…she’d say ”Sorry, Johnny, your dad said NO!”
My father would often point to his head and say…”Grass doesn’t grow on a busy street.” Referring to his bald head. My mother would then affectionately respond by saying “it doesn’t grow on a cement block either!”. We always got a chuckle out of that.

Brilliant businessman.

Way back in 1929, my Grandpa Yonan started and managed an oriental rug and carpet import business. My father had the benefit of observing my grandfather wheel and deal to make the business a success, and dad bought the business years later. My father had a natural ability to quickly assess a prospect’s wants and needs and was able to convert those prospects into life-long customers, building up a client list that consisted of many prominent businesses and families. His client list read like a Who’s Who of power players throughout the state of Wisconsin. Hard work, great people skills and excellent customer service served my father very well throughout his decades long career.

In 1979, however, after the U.S. Embassy in Iran was seized and 52 American diplomats and citizens were held hostage, business for dad dried up because people were not trusting of a guy whose family heritage is from Iran. However, being the shrewd businessman that he was, Dad installed a large flag pole and proudly hoisted a very large American flag in the front of his building. Almost instantly, clients returned, convinced that my father was a true patriot…and he was.

Dad travelled the world, making trips to India, Thailand, Australia and Europe, documenting his travels through photographs and then giving talks about the places he had been. He spoke to church groups, Rotarian’s, and other civic organizations. Dozens of these presentations were given over the years. Everyone was fascinated by the captivating photos depicting life in other countries and dad’s riveting descriptions and stories behind the photographs. It was almost like attending a National Geographic Society presentation. People were mesmerized by all that he shared.

In the fall of 1975, on a cold evening, dad turned on the heat in our home and we all went off to bed. I liked to sleep in a colder room and I had opened my window slightly and covered myself up in heavy blankets. The next morning, I woke to a severe headache and nausea. The rest of the family were all more severely sick than I was, and our German Shepard dog, King, was laying down and not able to get up. I attempted to go to school, but ended up going back to bed. Dad was the only one that forced himself to go to work. He had an appointment with a client out of town. As he drove down the highway, he began to feel better. It dawned on him that something was not right…he quickly turned around, contacted the local gas company and a representative met him at our house. These were still the days when you could actually get a human to work with you at a moment’s notice.

The gas company rep had a carbon monoxide detector with him, and as dad opened the garage door to our home, the meter immediately pegged the scale as they walked in, and they were not even in the house yet. They quickly ran in, opened all of the windows, called an ambulance and got my mother, brother, me and our dog all outside to fresh air. Eventually we were fine, but the Emergency Room doctor said that had we spent much more time in the house, we all would have been goners. Dad saved all of our lives that day.

I wanted to share a few things with you all that you may, or may not, have known about my father:

He was a brown belt in Karate and broke boards as entertainment at parties as I was growing up.
He was a clean freak…vacuuming, dusting, washing…
He hated spiders. They did not last long in his house.
He often made a clicking sound with his mouth when he slept.
He loved to wear moccasins and called them his Teepee Stompers…he wore them almost everywhere he went…and with white socks…very stylish indeed.
He participated in so many running and walking events in the last 35 years that he has a closet full of t-shirts depicting each event – and wore these t-shirts almost daily.
He also always wore suspenders under his shirts…polo shirts or t-shirts – it didn’t matter, the suspenders were there holding up his pants. The last time I can remember him wearing a belt in the last 20 years was at Shauna and Chris’ wedding when my mom insisted he tuck in his shirt.
Another thing you may not know, in the summer, he would shave his arm pits…he said he would sweat less and there was less odor…
He was a very early riser and seemed to need very little sleep.
Because of his lifetime commitment to exercise, his normal resting heart rate was only 37 beats per minute.
He never took a shower at home…he would go to the YMCA. I once asked him why and he said he simply did not want to have to clean the shower.
He had a daily routine of getting up, going to breakfast with the guys, then going to the YMCA for a workout and a shower, then home for some afternoon chores or errands and to visit some local friends. Dad was also a regular at the local Verizon store where he frequently had many questions about his iPhone. In the evening he would take my mom to dinner at Uno’s, their favorite restaurant where he seemed to intimately know the entire staff, then on to Culver’s for a mint and M&M frozen custard, next he would head back home to watch Jeopardy and Wheel of Fortune, then maybe a movie or a documentary, and then, inevitably, he would call me in California for technical support on his computer, then call his many friends on Skype, and then, finally he was off to bed…ready to start it all over again the next morning. Everywhere he went, he established relationships…when I visited Wisconsin, everywhere we went, it seemed everyone knew dad.
Finally, all of the clocks in mom & dads house always had to be running and show an accurate time…that was very important to Dad…probably due to his OCD tendencies. What I cannot explain is that just before he died, three of the clocks in mom & dad’s home were either slowing or had stopped. Coincidence? Probably, but it made me wonder a little.

Attempting to summarize dad’s life is unfair. There is just so much more that I would love to say. He will forever be my hero and role model. I have a lifetime of wonderful memories. If anyone ever asks me in the future to describe my dad…I will always start by saying…my Dad was Bodacious!

I will always miss you, Dad!

John III

Dad’s Eulogy